September 27, 2022

Ritual Introduction Read by May Guenin

Learn about passing the Edith Good Bouquet

Comments by Greta Dershimer

On July 9, 2021 Tom Crowell celebrated his 100th birthday at a luncheon arranged by his daughters, Leslie and Allie, and attended by many members of Tom’s large extended family. May Guenin, Ed Barber, and I were all honored to be invited to that party. We met and talked with many of Tom’s relatives, and enjoyed hearing all the interesting stories they told about their experiences with Tom.

Today Tom is 101, and it is not his birthday. The three of us are here with Tom and his daughters, Leslie and Allie, to make Tom an Honorary Recipient of the Edith Good Birthday Bouquet. This new tradition of Passing the Edith Good Birthday Bouquet to eligible UU Elders didn’t begin until January 11, 2022, and Tom had already celebrated his 100th birthday by then. The Caring Circle of 8 group that started this tradition decided that Tom deserved to be included as an Honorary Recipient.

We three have all known Tom for a number of years. May lived across the street from Tom, in the house that Tom once lived in with his wife, Mary, and children. May knew his family well. Ed Lives in the wider neighborhood, and was used to seeing Tom walking around the area. Sometimes he drove Tom home from meetings at church. I heard about Tom before I ever met him. One day my husband, Dick came home from church and started telling me about this interesting man he had been talking to. That was Tom. I guess Dick met Tom when they were both members of the original Active Minds group.

Tom was an active member of the Active Minds group, which I think was the first group at church to be clearly designated for church Elders. I thought I was too young to belong when my husband was a member, but I joined three or four years after Dick died. I remember how Tom would play the piano for us on occasion. I thought he was a calming influence when people began to disagree about whether we should be talking in a more organized fashion about a selected topic, rather than just checking in with each other about what was happening in our lives. In any case, I got to know Tom better in those meetings, and I think Ed did too.

Tom: The problem with Active Minds was that we were not involved with issues that concerned the congregation as a whole. We just talked about our personal problems.

Greta: Well, we got involved when the Board dropped the IMPACT membership dues out of the church budget. Several of us were concerned about that. Someone asked, “What can we do?” Virginia James said, “Write a letter to the Board!” We went to the Board and the Social Action Council along with other congregation members, and we got an agreement to raise the IMPACT dues through the Social Action Collection. That idea started with Active Minds and it’s still used today.

Tom: You’re right. I remember that now.

Tom was also a regular participant in the annual spring UU weekend at Douthat State Park during the years that I attended. That was a nice social activity that included young families with children, as well as older members of the church. I know Tom enjoyed the hiking, and I think Leslie and Allie came along and hiked too. There were good hiking trails.

Tom, Leslie, and Allie (almost in unison):
Yes, yes. We all came. We all hiked. The trails were wonderful!

Greta: A lot of games were played in the lodge, so it was good fun for all. Everyone was signed up to cook or serve or wash dishes for the meals that we all ate together. It was a great way to build a feeling of community. The Douthat weekend was still going strong every year until the Covid pandemic, and I think some people may have gone there last spring.

Tom was also a strong supporter of the African American Teaching Fellows (or AATF), which is an organization that prepares African American college students to take teaching positions in Charlottesville and Albemarle schools. The Fellows get “forgivable loans” to pay their tuition. If they teach in local schools for as many years as they received tuition money, the loan is considered paid off. UU member Bob Gross was one of the founders of the AATF, and the church still supports that program with a Social Action Collection.
I was a member of the AATF Board for about four years, representing our church, and I tried to encourage some church members to learn more about the program and donate money to them. Some people went to observe in classrooms where Fellows were teaching. Tom supported them financially, and one year he went with me to the Celebration of Fellows who had completed their first year of teaching, and were graduating from the program. Do you remember that celebration, Tom?

Tom: That was a wonderful meeting. The fellows were so enthusiastic about their teaching experiences!

Greta: AATF was an important part of the church’s community involvement and social justice effort, and Tom’s interest and support was an important contribution.

These are some of the ways in which Tom has participated in church activities, made friends, and helped to build a strong church community. This is why we are making him an Honorary Recipient of the Edith Good Birthday Bouquet. Ed is going to present the Bouquet to Tom.

Presenting the Bouquet to Tom – Ed Barber:

Tom, we’re all happy to welcome you as an Honorary Recipient of the Edith Good Birthday Bouquet. I’ve known you for quite a while, since I live about two blocks away from you.

I used to see you on your daily walks around the neighborhood, and I got so I would watch for you, so I could talk to you as you went by my house. Then later, after I joined the Active Minds group, I used to drive you home after the meetings. I remember sometimes when folks began to disagree about something in the Active Minds meetings, and comments got a bit too negative, you would get up, walk over to the piano, and begin to play. That would interrupt the argument, and we could get back to a more helpful discussion.

Tom: I always thought that music was an important part of being human, and most people respond to hearing music by becoming more open to others.

Ed: I’m pleased to present you with the Edith Good Birthday Bouquet. Of course, none of us get to keep this beautiful bouquet, but we’ll give you some photographs of this event so that you can remember having received the bouquet to honor your long years of contributing to our UU congregational community. (Hands Tom the bouquet to hold)

Would you like to say something about your years as a church member?

Tom’s comments:

Unitarian Universalism is not like most other religions, because it doesn’t tell us all what to think or believe. We get together in meetings that encourage independence of thought. I like this congregation because we are encouraged to emphasize service, justice, and love. Our focus is on relationships to others. Belonging to this congregation has been important to me.

Tom to Ed Barber, May Guenin, and Greta Dershimer:

Thank you all for this wonderful meeting!