This is not “required reading.”  These quotations and writings are simply meant to get your thinking started–and maybe to open you to new ways of thinking about what it means to “live a life of inheritance.”  Many were written by fellow Unitarian Universalists as part of the Soul Matters program.

Our ideals, laws and customs should be based on the proposition that each generation in turn becomes the custodian rather than the absolute owner of our resources – and each generation has the obligation to pass this inheritance on in the future.
– Alberto Moravia

The best inheritance a parent can give his children is a few minutes of his time each day.
– Orlando A. Battista

We are all gifted. That is our inheritance.
– Ethel Waters

I keep thinking about all of the unnamed heroes that break cycles of abuse in their families.  To live a life of inheritance, you may be grateful for the pieces of your ancestors that are alive in you, and you may also be grateful for the gift of your own life and the power you have to shape how others will remember you. 
– Anonymous UU

One of the aspects of inheritance that haunts me is the fear of inheritance. All parents know the feeling of seeing something in our children that reminds us of a scary train in ourselves, in a sibling, or in a parent.  I’m not given to anxiety or panic, but I feel it in those moments.
I remember when my wife and I were expecting our first child, our pediatrician did a long interview with us about personal and family health histories. When it was done, he said, “So, the reason I do that is so that at the end, now, I can tell you how completely unlikely it is that your child will have any of those problems.”  So, we inherit, of course, but we DO NOT inherit so much, and there’s a danger in over-focus on what we MIGHT inherit.
 — Anonymous UU

When I think of inheritance, I think of gifts and baggage, fate vs. freewill, and the Greek play “Oedipus.”  In that play, the idea of freewill vs. fate is actually open to interpretation. In modern society, when individuals break out of poverty while others can’t, is that freewill-driven or fate-driven?  Nature or Nurture?
– Anonymous UU

As a retired person with an adult son, I’d always thought that leaving my home for my son was the absolute necessary and best inheritance I could provide.  A couple years ago, I was discussing with a friend a few things I might do… in general, around self-development, but worried that it might mean a significant portion of the house’s value would be spent.  I always remember her comment…. “The best inheritance you can leave your son is the example of yourself…. fulfilled and evolved.”
– Anonymous UU

In considering this theme, I have been contemplating what I’ve inherited about my interpretation of God – what I’ve kept from this inheritance, what I have not kept, and what have I adopted from other sources to grow in my own spiritual understanding of God.  Who God is for me has changed, from a childhood version of a man with a beard, sitting in the heavens, to an energy that I see in myself and every living and non-living thing – an energy that as I grow into myself, I can feel more and more.  I have moved from a punishing and restricting God that I had to please by being good, to a loving and friendly God, that is always with me and  if I pay attention to her, our relationship will be strengthened.  One thing that I have realized, is that if I do not spend time contemplating this topic, I just adopt other people’s views, rather than strengthen my own.  I am sure that in another few years, my view of God will change yet again.
– Anonymous UU

You don’t need to accept what you inherit–in fact it is really your right, responsibility and opportunity to refuse what is offered (foisted, dumped, laid, imposed) and replace it with better stuff.
– Anonymous UU

I have some lovely antiques from my husband’s family that I now cherish and know that my children do.  But I must admit there was a time that I resented those antiques because they were not of my choosing and determined what our home would look like—feels silly now–but of course they have been determining my home for 35 years!!!
– Anonymous UU

What I have been thinking about is the different types of inheritance we have–immediate family and genetics, extended family, community, friends, religious community, national and global, how these all interact negatively and positively to make us who we are.   One of the things that I noticed growing up was that there was a dissonance between my family inheritance and the community inheritance and maybe even the national one.  This could be common to second generation Americans, I don’t know.  However, we heard several languages spoken growing up–Dutch (Flemish), French and Italian.   Dad’s family was from Calabria, Italy, and Mom’s from Flanders, Belgium.  Both spoke only their family’s native languages before they started school.  My sister and I grew up hearing old country stories and myths, seeing old country ways of decorating, etc.  It took us some time to realize that this is part of what set us apart from our neighbors and classmates.  We had a European upbringing!  In addition, my immediate family was deeply spiritual without caring a hoot about church.  Dad hated priests and Mom said there was no reason why you had to worship God inside a building.
However, I attended Catholic schools from kindergarten through high school.  The atmosphere in my home enabled me to see past the religious indoctrination.  The atmosphere in the home enabled me to see past the American indoctrination also.  We came to think of the other classmates and community members as the “Americans.”  Odd, yes, but liberating and alienating at the same time.  This gives you an “outsider looking in” mentality.
I think this carries forward into a way of looking at America and the world.  I could never be a super-patriot or a religious bigot.  I am deeply disturbed by both, and so became a political activist–civil, gay, women’s, animal rights.  My deep respect for the earth was, I think, inborn, but amplified by my Belgian Grandfather who tended his farm and the earth with such care, and my Great-Grandmother, who grew and gathered herbs and was a midwife and healer.
So it leaves you with a lot of questions: How do you work with being or feeling like you are an “outsider”?  How do you keep up the strength to do what you think is right even though everyone else thinks you’re crazy?  How do you stay on a spiritual path when the pull is away from that toward mindless consumerism?  How does inheritance enable you to reject what everyone else believes?
– Anonymous UU

When my mother died, she excluded me from her will and left everything to my two sisters.  She actively hated my then husband, and I guess she wanted to let me know how much she didn’t approve of my staying married to him.  When the lawyer said she left me out of the will, I was stunned at first.  I was the only daughter who lived stayed in Rochester (my other two sisters both left Rochester at 18 and never returned) and I had been supportive, helpful and included her in my life’s events.  But then realized it really spoke about my mother’s unhappiness.  Both my sisters and my father were also stunned.  My father (who hadn’t been married to my other for 40 years) offered to give me what would have been a third of the estate, which I obviously didn’t take.  My sisters responded by promptly gifting me the money I would have received if the estate had been divided among the three of us.  What generous and loving response from my family.
Even though my father was absent for a large part of my growing up, his strong values about how to live a life of integrity and how to treat people is deeply instilled in me and guide my daily actions.   He cared deeply about family and worked hard to create reunions with our small number of family members spread across the country.  When he died, in addition to leaving his assets among the three of us daughters, he left his IRAs to just me.  My sisters and I talked about how to deal with this, and we decided that we would take the mandatory withdrawal monies each year and do something collectively to celebrate life.  The three of us have had some great adventures together.   Most recently we had a long weekend together learning how to blow glass funded by my father’s generosity and our collaboration.  It feels wonderful to use his money to carry on his values.
When you hear awful stories about families getting torn apart by estate issues, I am SO grateful that is not the story in our lives.
– Anonymous UU