A Caring Circle or Friendship Circle at UUCville is a group of 3-5 (or up to 8) members or friends of the congregation who have explicitly agreed to stay in regular contact with each other over an extended period of time. Caring Circles were first proposed as an improved alternative to the UU Cville Phone Tree, which was developed to counter the social isolation and loneliness experienced by many elderly congregation members during the Covid pandemic.
Caring Circles are envisioned as arising primarily from friendship groups. They are self-organizing, self-managing, and self-sustaining. When forming as a group, Caring Circle members decide jointly the types and frequency of contacts and gatherings they will have, as well as the types of activities they want to engage in together. It is expected that over time these early choices may change, adapting to new group interests, experiences, or circumstances. The general focus is on developing closer connections with one another, and supporting each other when needed.
When the first Caring Circle of 8 formed in April 2021, it began with three people, who gradually suggested others to be added, and finally included two married couples, three single women, and one single man. When the group began to meet regularly, the features that members seemed to enjoy most were: the flexibility to use varied procedures over time; the willingness of members to try new ideas suggested by others in the group (e.g., topics for discussion, types of activities); and the readiness to share and exchange responsibility for hosting and leading discussions and other activities. In addition to developing closer connections with each other, they were expanding their experiences and perceptions.
Over time it became clear to the Circle of 8 members that Caring Circles should not be limited to the elderly or those experiencing social isolation. They could be useful within the congregation as a whole, helping members to strengthen and expand social connections, and in the process, strengthening and expanding the commitment, capability, and capacity for outreach of the congregation.
In February 2022 the Caring Circle of 8 decided that they would like to help form two new Circles, to see how interested other congregation members might be, and to learn how much variation might develop from group to group. They thought that these Circles might fit within the UU CVille organizational category of Small Group Ministry. They contacted Rev. Leia Durland-Jones to explain this idea to her, and she was interested. She took the idea to the newly formed Pastoral Coordinating Committee in February 2022, and they approved the plan for development of two new Circles, agreeing to the categorizing of these Circles as part of the Small Group Ministry.
Members of the Circle of 8 identified two known female friendship groups among congregational elders and asked a member of each group if they would be interested in proposing formation of such a group to their other friends. Both were interested, and agreed to discuss the idea with others. In each case the “group organizer” contacted individuals one at a time to determine their interest in forming a Circle, and each got positive responses from four other people.
One group then met and negotiated a plan, identifying when and how they would communicate with one another (by phone), what activities they would like to engage in (celebrate birthdays (not in restaurants, no presents), “just talk together”) and how frequently they would meet as a group (monthly). The second group was presented with a plan negotiated by three members. Two others readily agreed to the plan. Their first live meeting with all five members was to celebrate the 75th birthday of one member. It was a happy event! Many of their meetings will be in pairs, when individuals meet with a member in an assisted living facility, to chat, play games, work on puzzles, take a drive, or have lunch out. Both groups like the sense of independence to decide organizational matters for themselves, and have agreed to accept the responsibility which that entails. Both also decided to call themselves a Friendship Circle, while agreeing to support each other in times of need.
The Caring Circle of 8 has volunteered to provide information about Caring / Friendship Circles to other elders and to the wider congregation as well, and to assist interested members and friends in forming their own Caring Circles, if requested. Interested congregation members and friends are invited to contact Greta Dershimer or Sandy Brooks for more information.
(gretamae@comcast.net; 434-242-2897)
(ssbrooks@hotmail.com; 434-974-7525)