Introduction
On Edith Good’s 90th birthday her sister-in-law gave her a cheerful tissue-paper bouquet. It stood on her counter for a couple of years as she wondered what could be done with it. In September 2021 when Greta Dershimer was having her 90th birthday celebration, Edith remembers, “It just clicked – I’ll pass it on – it’s so happy!”
Greta thought Edith was a model of active participation in the congregation and the local community. She felt very honored when Edith gave her the beautiful paper bouquet at her 90th birthday party. She thought that passing it on to other UU Elders would be a really nice congregational tradition.
Greta and Bayard Catron had both joined a new “Caring Circle of 8” in April 2021. On January 11, 2022 Greta was hosting the Circle meeting and it was Bayard’s 80th birthday. She wondered what to do to help the group celebrate, noticed the Edith Good Birthday Bouquet standing on her piano, and decided it was the perfect time to begin the tradition of passing the bouquet. She told Bayard he had to take good care of the bouquet and pass it on to a UU Elder friend who was having a decadal birthday. He pledged to do so. She gave him the bouquet, and the tradition was born.
The purpose of this tradition is to honor our Elders on their decadal birthdays, remember their contributions to the congregation, and highlight the ways our members develop friendships and build community by participating in church activities.
Recipients of the Edith Good Birthday Bouquet must be celebrating their 70th, 80th, 90th, or 100th birthday; be a participating member or friend of the congregation; and be someone who has developed a relationship with the person passing the bouquet, through mutual participation in one or more congregational activities.
Edith’s comments for Passing the Birthday Bouquet to Greta
I have been asked to write a few sentences on how I got to know Greta. Since her arrival, I have come to know her as being passionately involved in the music at church, and in fundraising for IMPACT and AATF (African American Teaching Fellows), which I also support.
Then on my 90th birthday, my sister-in-law, Sally Garr, gave me this cheerful tissue paper bouquet which stood in a vase on my counter for a couple of years as I wondered what could be done with it. Greta announced her 90th birthday, and it just clicked – I’ll pass it on – it’s so happy!
Greta’s Comments for receiving Birthday Bouquet from Edith Good
When I was going to City Council meetings to support IMPACT’s Affordable Housing issue, I always saw Edith Good there, standing up to support many social justice issues. When I went to congregational Board meetings, Edith was always there as well. I began to think of her as a model of active participation in the church and the community. She has been the stalwart member of NAACP, PHAR, Believers and Achievers, and the Courtroom Watchers for many years standing as an ally for initiatives in our community.
When we started the Phone Tree, Edith joined. I felt very honored when she gave me the beautiful paper bouquet in 2021 at my 90th birthday party, and decided that passing it on to other elders would be a really nice new church tradition.
Greta’s Comments for passing Birthday Bouquet to Bayard
I first got to know Bayard when he began attending the Active Minds meetings. He had interesting things to say. Then the pandemic hit, and Active Minds began meeting on Zoom. It was a smaller group, and it seemed like we all got to know each other better. When the Phone Tree ended, and the idea of forming Caring Circles was suggested, Bayard and I both joined the “Caring Circle of 8.” We met monthly, engaged in many different activities, and all formed closer friendships.
I was hosting our Circle meeting on January 11, 2022, and it was Bayard’s 80th birthday. I wondered what I could do to help us celebrate that, noticed the Edith Good Birthday Bouquet standing on my piano, and decided it was the perfect time to begin the tradition of passing the bouquet. I told him he had to take good care of the bouquet and pass it on to a UU Elder friend who was having a decadal birthday. He pledged to do so, and the tradition began.
Bayard’s Comments for receiving Birthday Bouquet from Greta
In the pre-covid era, I knew Greta as the facilitator of Active Minds, a lively (not to say unruly) group of 14-16 elders meeting in the parlor on Thursday afternoons. But I really got to know her better in the period after the church closed in March 2020, as she rapidly developed the Phone Tree and we scrambled (with Sean Scally’s indispensable help) to get Active Minds up on Zoom. Our friendship has been enriched in the last year through participation in the Circle of 8. I readily accepted Greta’s charge to care for the bouquet, knowing that my stewardship would be brief: I would pass it on in two months to May Guenin, who turned 80 on March 18, 2022.
Bayard’s Comments for passing Birthday Bouquet on to May
May and I were in a covenant group together for several years, and then she joined me and others in creating the Soul Matters “Theme Study” group that met on Thursday mornings before Active Minds. I was delighted to join the Circle of 8 with her last year, and our friendship has only broadened and deepened since then.
May’s Comments for receiving the Birthday Bouquet from Bayard
Bayard and I were in a Covenant group for many years, and several of us joined a Circle 8 group. Bayard was always interesting and well-informed, as well as entertaining at times. He has an unusual gift of seeing the good in many, many things.
I am not a big fan of celebrations, but I was treated to one by our Circle 8. We had a tour of the Kluge Museum with a guided explanation of the art and then lunch. It was a very nice celebration and the group enjoyed our meal and our time together. I was presented with Edith’s flowers and a little speech of sorts telling me what my responsibilities are towards this bouquet. The only thing I am sure of is it wasn’t to water them. I look forward to the next celebration when it will be my time to pass them along.
May Guenin, on Passing the Birthday Bouquet to Ed Barber (90, June 10, 2022)
Ed Barber and I were members of a UU Covenant Group for several years, and are now both members of a Circle of 8, one of the UUC’ville Small Group Ministries. I have also seen him at Active Minds meetings, a group which I check in on infrequently. He has always provided interesting and insightful comments and ideas, and I was and am very honored to call him a friend.
Ed has served on the UU C’Ville Membership Committee, attended UU Guys meetings, and worked as a UU Network Member of IMPACT. He also belongs to a Charlottesville men’s group to discuss local and state-wide political issues. It was my pleasure to pass the Birthday Bouquet on to Ed, asking that he cherish and care for it, but NOT water it, until he passes it on to another UU Elder. This he happily agreed to do.
Ed Barber, on Receiving the Birthday Bouquet from May Guenin
The benefits of turning 90 may be limited, but I have an excellent one on my mantel: a lovely work of art, in tissue paper, put into my care until another UU Elder ages into a new decade, and I pass it on to them for safekeeping.
When Ginger and I moved to Charlottesville, we looked for a church that was active in community events of all kinds, and happily found this UU congregation. One of the first members I got to know was May Guenin. Doug Rogers was running a Covenant Group that May had started, and he introduced us. I joined the Covenant Group and began to make new friends.
May and I have been friends ever since. We both attended Active Minds and became members of the Phone Tree. When the Phone Tree ended, we both joined the Circle of 8. May organized a picnic lunch for our Circle at Raven’s Roost on the Blue Ridge Parkway to share our memories of Bernice Melvin after her death. I admire May for her clarity of thought and her good judgment. She has a wry sense of humor and is a great cook. Who could ask for a better friend.
