Spiritual Exercises

This month these suggested spiritual exercise are directly linked with the months Questions to Consider. Usually, we’re invited to look at the Questions and see where they take us intellectually or emotionally.  This month we are asked to let the questions lead us into action–into some real-life action that engages us with our “inheritance,” that makes it come to life.  The goal is to get us not just thinking about our inheritance but also living it.

All of us have inherited much from those who came before us – some positive, some challenging, some painful.  We have inherited physical things, emotional things, intellectual things, spiritual things.  Sometimes we embrace and celebrate what we’ve inherited; sometimes we reject it.  Often we’re not even all that aware of it.  This exercise is an invitation to take one small step toward looking at what has been handed down to us, really seeing it, and then deciding what to do with it.

As with each month’s Questions, read them all and see if one or another really catches your attention.  You’ll see after each question a suggested action you could take that might move you to doing, rather than just thinking.  These are just suggestions, of course.  Their purpose is to stimulate your own thoughts.  If the suggested action feels right to you, fine–go ahead and make that your project for the month.  But don’t feel constrained by it.  The goal is to listen deeply to the question and figure out what it’s asking of you, inviting you to do, or even wants from you.

What’s the best thing your child has inherited from you?  The worst?

SUGGESTED ACTIONS: Tell your child a story about your lineage that you’ve not ever shared before.  Show them pictures of your relatives from generations ago.  Ask your parents to sit down with your kids and tell them a story from their childhood.  Record your parents doing this so you can hold on to the story in their voice even after they are gone.

Be honest with yourself about that “bad habit” of yours that your child is starting to imitate.  And do something about it.  Or notice one of the great gifts you’ve given them and engage it with them: read together, cook together, paint together, make time to throw the football around.

What part of “bending the arc” have you “inherited”?  Social change takes time, many generations even.  This is what Martin Luther King Jr. meant when he said that the arc of the universe is long but it bends toward justice; we all need to pick up where others leave off.  What justice-making, world-changing mission have you picked up from others?  What “little bend” are you trying to make?

SUGGESTED ACTIONS: Figure out what your “ministry” is.  Figure out your “calling.”  Make time for at least one small action to move that dream/movement/vision of a better world forward.

Have you said thanks for your inheritance?  Knowing and being grateful for what you’ve inherited is one thing.  Thanking those who have passed on precious gifts is another.

SUGGESTED ACTIONS: Write a letter to your family member saying thanks for the gift they passed on to you–the value, talent, love, perspective, strength or passion.  Or better yet, sit down with them and say thank you.  If your loved one is dead, honor their gift in another way.  For instance, set a day aside to visit their grave and leave a symbol of thanks behind.

Is your inheritance really to blame?  Who’s really responsible for our bad habits, our screwed-up reactions, and our silly choices?  Is it true that our lives would be better “if only we’d had better parents”? Is it true that our genes have doomed us to inevitable outcomes?  Have you ever used “inheritance” as an excuse to escape personal responsibility?

SUGGESTED ACTIONS: Apologize for being too hard on “them.”  Tell your mom/dad/sister/brother that you didn’t mean that thing you said.  Put aside your experience of betrayal and your lack of trust in relationships, and finally get out there and ask that guy or gal out on a date.  Put down that story line given to you by your parents about you “not being the smart one” and go online to see what it would take to go back to school.  Put down that inherited storyline about what success is and do that thing you really love.

Have you forgiven your loved ones for what they inherited?  We’ve all been hurt, let down or wounded by parents, siblings or close friends.  We’re mad that they passed on or our burdened us with “their stuff.”  But someone likely passed on that “stuff” to them.  How’s that fit into the equation?  Is it possible they did the best they could given their negative inheritance?

SUGGESTED ACTIONS:  Read over the suggestions under #4 again.  Maybe twice.

Has a painful inheritance ever turned out to be a blessing in disguise?  Have you turned it into a blessing?  Have you found a way to turn your “burden” into something that has made you stronger?

SUGGESTED ACTIONS: Share your painful inheritance with someone who needs to know that you went through it too–that they are not alone, that someone else understands.  Figure out how your inherited wound is related to a greater social cause, and use it to mobilize your passion.

Have you ever inherited a secret?  Would you like to “dis-inherit” it?

SUGGESTED ACTIONS: Watch the TED talk: http://www.ted.com/talks/frank_warren_half_a_million_secrets.html.  Then make your own postcard and send it in.  Maybe share that postcard with a trusted friend before you send it in.  Or finally tell your spouse, sibling or family about it.

Is guilt something you’ve inherited?  Fear?  Distrust?  What have you learned about letting it go?  Do you need to ask someone for help in learning how to let it go?

SUGGESTED ACTIONS: Finally deal with it:  find a therapist or a spiritual director.

Is there an inheritance you’d like to re-claim?  Maybe it’s your theist or Christian upbringing.  Maybe it’s your mom’s working class background.  Maybe it’s your cultural heritage.  Maybe it’s your dad’s practical jokes.  We’ve all got some aspect of our family or cultural past that we rejected or looked down upon.  But now, years later, maybe what we rejected is worth a second look, worth picking up again.  So, is there anything in your life asking for a second look?  A second chance?

SUGGESTED ACTIONS:  Call up your minister and tell him or her you’d like to have a chat about God.  Learn about your cultural heritage; find a book, watch a movie, sign up for a class.  Tell a few of your father’s “stupid” jokes to your kids.

How deeply have you tapped into your UU inheritance?

SUGGESTED ACTION: Learn enough to say you have a favorite UU “saint.”  Read a book by or about one of our forebears: Susan B Anthony, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Thoreau, Thomas Paine, Ray Bradbury, Alexander Graham Bell.  (see more at http://www.famousuus.com)

What’s the best thing you’ve inherited?  The worst?

SUGGESTED ACTION: No suggestions needed for this one.  If one single inheritance stands out way above others, you will know what to do.  You will just know.