Are you thinking about visiting us, or thinking about trying to become more involved after visiting for a little while? Here’s what some of our members have to say about why they are here, and what it’s like to be a part of this church.
How can I tell just one story about our church when I’ve been a member for 37 years??
My longest and deepest connection here has been with the children’s Religious Education program. Early on, I was on the search committee that brought Diane Ober here as DRE (she was before Sally Taylor, who was before Leia) and remember her playing the guitar during children’s worship and the kids singing “Inch by inch, row by row, gonna make this garden grow.” And that’s the way it’s been for me – class by class, age group by age group. It amazes me that our son Jesse and the other kids in his Holidays and Holy Days class are now over 40! I remember them acting out the Easter week story in the Blue Room.
More recently, the cohort of kids that are now in YRUU started with me in fourth grade and were such a great group that I stuck with them for five years. Watching them grow and develop in their own beliefs and personalities has been rewarding to me. Two times stand out – as they led the congregation in worship for their Challenge service in 2018, wearing the colorful stoles that I lovingly made for them, and just a few months ago when they led children’s worship and the young children looked up at them in awe!
Another bonus of teaching RE the way I like to do it – working as a team with the other teachers and committing to attending most of the classes — has been getting to know the other teachers in deeper ways and feeling connected to a wide group of people who are dedicated to our young UUs.
All of this, combined with my more intense involvement in community anti-racism work since I retired from teaching in 2013, led me to connect with Elaine Chapman and others at church to develop lessons that led to Growing Anti-racist UUs: A Curriculum for Children, which we’ve worked on for four years. Seems like just yesterday I turned in my flash drive with “my” lessons, and now they are on our church’s website (under Education) for use throughout the country! It’s been a ton of work yet work that feels meaningful and work that has brought me even closer to Leia.
And by now perhaps you can understand why on Sundays Frank and I say that if we haven’t talked with Leia, we haven’t really been to church!
To top off my involvement with RE, now our daughter Lenore (know here as “Noni”) serves as the Director of Lifespan Faith Development at the UU Church of Lancaster. And I am delighted to have conversations with her about her classes and helping to create Spirit Play baskets for “her” kids!
Another inch and another row, and I continue to grow.
Linda Dukes
Then some of the 4th and 5th graders . . .
Now high school YRUU group!
My father went from a contentious objector Army Cook, to a trained Chef, and College Food Service Director. He passed on an intrinsic truth about eating and drinking together; it reminds us of our commonality and strengthens us physically and the community emotionally and spiritually. He often ate his meals in 5 courses in order to eat with diners, cooks and staff to keep vital relationships strong. He brought this to our home church as lead kitchen volunteer.
He knew a great deal about cooking, entertaining, and running a kitchen and passed some of that knowledge on to me. More importantly, he taught me that there is always more to know and “The customer is your boss and is always right.” That’s why it’s called Food Service.
As a fairly new member of our community, I started serving coffee to meet people and find out more about TJMCUU. Now I am joined by my daughters, a third generation that I hope is learning to be community facilitators by serving others happily, humbly, and respectfully one cup and snack at a time.
-Danny Gray, Team Leader for Sunday Hospitality
At the age of 99, I’m probably the only one alive who remembers the very first minister, Malcolm Sutherland. When we felt our three children should be in Sunday School – but not wanting either of the ones we’d attended – a friend of my husband urged him to consider the new church on Rugby Road, Thomas Jefferson Memorial Unitarian. We were going to try it as a family group, but an unruly child meant my husband had to make the first visit alone. He was so pleased with the presentation of the Church School that he signed us all up on that first visit.
We were immediately delighted with the Church School program and the Minister’s messages. We were almost immediately put to work, which made us feel like welcome additions. Our long careers here include my husband as Church Treasurer and Chair of the Board of Directors. I was a member of the Women’s Alliance and served as its President. I was also a Church School teacher and served as Religious Education Director for a while. Our children were involved as well.
My membership has also included three family Memorial Services and two Weddings. This church has been a happy home for me for more than 65 years!
Virginia R. James
I have many wonderful memories from my long-time involvement at TJMC. One of those shining moments wasfrom the Nativity (children’s) Christmas Eve service several years ago. When I was eight, I was chosen to be the angel in the Nativity service, so when I was laughingly chosen to repeat the performance at TJMC as a gray-haired old lady, I quickly realized that this motley group of wise men, shepherds, and animals was my chosen community, from the littlest babe in the manger, to the restless shepherds and their baaing sheep, to the beaming parents in the audience. My participation was minimal, but the feeling of belonging remains.
Sally Taylor
I think of a flow chart, with the church as the beginning point, providing energy to committees, social events, programs, and Covenant Groups, as the recipients. Each of these groups provides a service to both the church and its members in different ways. Of these various bodies, Covenant Groups take that energy and use it for its members’ soul enrichment, active learning, social support, and meaningful friendships, which in turn provides group members with vitality, enthusiasm, and commitment that flows back to the church. Being a Covenant Group member has been a highlight of my 16- year membership at TJMC.
Sandy Brooks
When I first became president of the board, I was terrified of public speaking. I remember one particular congregational meeting where I was so nervous, I could barely think, let alone manage Robert’s Rules of Order.
As I stood up in front of the church at one of the earlier congregational meetings, in front of the microphone which also terrified me, I saw Linda McNeil get up and leave the sanctuary. Shortly after, she returned with a cup of tea which she handed to me with a smile. I sipped the tea and looked out at the packed church. I saw people smiling encouragingly to me with brief head nods seemingly projecting “You got this!”
Knowing I was supported by so many, gave me the courage to proceed and ultimately, after about 16 congregational meetings in four years, I became very comfortable with public speaking. I grew into myself at TJMC. I faced my fears and learned that I was a leader and I did it with the kind support of so many people within the church.
Josie Taylor, Past President of the Board of Trustees
I have lots of good memories and they are good because of the people involved.
• teaching 2 and 3 year old RE with Don Landis and Amy Nash
• being on the RE committee with Carrie Berger
• doing the UUService Committee Holiday card for Edith Good
• preparing for the coffee hour with Jim Souder and Walter Hoffman
• Soup Sunday with Beth Landis
• presenting a worship with Elizabeth Breeden
• sharing a meal at the Douthat Retreat with Glenn Short
• making a potholder quilt with Margaret Gorman
Coming to TJMC isn’t the service or the songs. It’s the people and the chance to work together to make a difference.
Lorie Craddock, Past Board President
My husband, David’s, funeral was here. The night before, the Uppity Women hosted dinner for my very large family, and it surprised them that I would have such a fine group of “church ladies.” Leslie and David were the Ministers and they led us to do the service ourselves. Leslie visited that whole week as we prepared. The church community enjoyed that we are who we are and managed lots of extra work, as the funeral itself burst the facility at its seams. Leslie took walks with me monthly after the funeral to make sure I was ok. One more time, the church had my back and held me up.
Elizabeth Breeden
What’s my TJMC story? I came to TJMC the very first weekend I moved to Charlottesville and found my spiritual home as well as the center of my social life and support system.
A few memories come to mind. The first is having a safe place to share during joys and concerns when I was caring for my parents before they died. The outpouring of support I felt was incredibly comforting. I recently went through the cards I received after their deaths and was touched by the number of TJMC members who took the time to send me a card. I remember multiple conversations with Alex during that difficult time especially the one when I was making the decision to leave my father knowing I would not be present at the moment of his death. She has been an important lifeline for me. I also remember her coming to the Emergency Room when I was in a car accident on my 50th birthday and breathing and praying with me. That got me through my MRI a few days later. She came to my 50th birthday party the following month and gave a blessing. My spiritual direction with her has also been a profound experience.
Cathy Lawder
My time with TJMC has been a gradual progression both in terms of my spiritual life and participation within the congregation. My wife and I joined before our first child was born. Both of our children have been involved with RE from birth and I helped out only somewhat for years. We attended sporadically, tending to start off strong each fall and tapering off as the holidays approached and the year turned into spring. I got to know some of the parents and while on the playground two fathers, Don Landis and John Nolen, separately and on different occasions talked about a men’s group at the church, UU Guys. I started attending monthly meetings and found it a great bonding experience getting to know other UU Guys of all ages in a deeper and more intimate level. Nurturing my spiritual life all along. This led me to attending services more frequently and taking part in other programs like bingo nights, auctioning services, sound crew, and more. My wife and I love to cook and we have hosted and attended several auction dinners and cooked for a few Soup Sundays. I was the reigning Chili King, till Queen Beth came along . I began cooking for PACEM and serving the guests alongside my daughter. All this feeding of others fed my spirit as well.
One day Don Landis pulled me aside, out of the blue, at a service and asked if I was willing to step into a leadership role within the church. Not knowing what he meant I said, “Sure.” I can never say no to Don, nor has he ever led me astray. A few weeks later Rev. Wik reached out to me about joining the Committee on the Ministry. I could not have foreseen how much I truly appreciate being able to serve the church in this capacity especially as we began and are continuing through this challenging time of transition.
I would encourage others not to wait to be asked to take part in church activities. There are so many different things going on and ways to get involved. Something you already enjoy doing can translate into a fun way to take part, enriching yourself and all of us at the same time. I am grateful to everyone in our community for guiding me and traveling with me on my spiritual journey.
David Shutt
When I was fairly new to TJMC, at the 10:15 Sunday service Leia, the Religious Education Director, came directly up to me and said my name and warmly said, “Welcome.” I really liked that she made the effort. It seemed this church might be a place where I was known. That had never happened before, and I had attended many places. I was looking for a place where I would be known and could be a part of the service in this quiet way.
Then the first times I attended the Theme Study Group and the Active Minds Group, I observed that people really listened and shared. The smallness of the groups and the true interest that people seemed to have in understanding and listening and getting to know each other really appealed to me. They seemed nonjudgmental and allowed differences of opinions. I also liked the reading of poems, and the fact that meetings were held during the day. (I don’t drive well at night.) I will find my way into the larger meetings through these small interactive groups.
Gerry Seedyke